On Blind Dating

What do you first think of when someone wants to set you up on a blind date?  Blind dating kind of gets a bad rap for being terrible.  But really it's only because it is a shot in the dark.  You know what you're getting into when you make your own decisions.  But when you put that trust into others' hands?  Who knows.

But on the other hand, blind dating can be fun.  Your friends know people that might be interested in you, but who you would never otherwise meet.  Dating itself is all about taking risks anyway, right?  Your friends know you and your interests.  They may even be better than you at seeing the two of you together.  The only reason blind dates occasionally go wrong is when your friend either doesn't make this judgement correctly, or at all.


I have enjoyed every date that I have been on, even all the blind dates that I've had.  They are most successful when these four rules are followed:

1. The person setting up the date must know both people.
2. The person setting up the date thinks both people would go well together.
3. The person setting up the date goes on a double date with the couple.
4. The person setting up the date plans the date.

#1 should be obvious, but isn't always followed.  The first blind date that I had was all set up, but the girl I was supposed to go with cancelled at the last minute.  My friend, not wanting to cancel the whole thing quickly asked around, and found a friend that knew someone available for a blind date that day.  I still had fun, but I think it could have been more fun if there were some chemistry there.  There's been plenty of times that people want to set me up on dates with people they don't know, but they have a friend that knows them.  Thanks, but no thanks.

#2 extends logically from #1.  The reason I want someone to know both of us is so that they know if we would be good together.  It seems like it is all too common for someone to say, "Hey!  I just realized! You're single.  I have a friend who's single...."  The first question I ask someone who wants to set me up on a blind date is, "Do we have something in common?  Or have similar personalities?  Or are you just setting us up because we're both single?"

#3 is helpful because it is usually hard to just hit it off with a stranger right away.  With our mutual friend there, I feel safe to lower my guard, and am free to be myself.  And even if we don't take to each other, we still have our friends there for having fun and good conversations.

#4 This one is more of a formality rather than a requirement to have a good date.  It just makes sense to me that the person setting up the date is inherently in charge during the date, therefore they should be the ones who makes the plans.  But also related is that they know what sort of things we like doing, and so they should be better at it anyway.

Dating is supposed to be about taking risks though, so sometimes I break my own rules.  Although I haven't spelled them out, I have my own rules on regular (non-blind) dates too.  But here I am, still 29 and still single.  Sometimes I wonder if it is my own rules that are hurting my relationships with others, or keeping me from pursuing a relationship with someone.

Rules keep us safe, but in some situations they are unnecessary.  For example, I didn't date much in my teens, and I told myself that it was because I didn't want to make some girl wait for me while I was on my mission, so I didn't want to get in a relationship.  Looking back, I realize that was never a danger for me.  I was too oblivious to get into a relationship.  Actually, I probably still am.

Anyway, so that's blind dating in a nutshell.  "Well, okay," you might be thinking, "So I want to set you up on a blind date, but I'm not sure if she's right for you.  What is your type of woman, anyway?"  I've been asked this at least a couple times when discussing blind dating.  I'm not sure how helpful it is, but this is my kind of woman.